Too shy

Oh god, look; He's online.


Your heart lets off a harsh thud before going into a more... pleasant -if I may use that word- hyperdrive.


What should you do? Do you message him? Wait for him to talk to you first? What if he doesn't? You don't wanna seem desperate, but in all honesty, you are...


Just as you're about to cave, he beats you to punch. Your heart leaps with joy. He initiated the conversation! That must mean he likes you... Or at the very least, likes talking to you. You regain your composure as you type what you think is a witty response.


A conversation sparks, and the two of you talk for hours; though to you it feels like just minutes. He actually tells you he has to go rather than just logging off and you two are able to say a proper goodbye.

While you’re happy for that, another fact weighs heavy on your mind…

You still hadn’t told him how you felt.

It would’ve been a perfect opportunity; you were getting along just fine, and the mood seemed right. All throughout the conversation, an inner voice nagged at you, Do it! Tell him! to which you responded, Alright, just give me a second.

But that second turned into a minute, and that minute turned into an hour, and before you knew it another chance slipped by.

It was always like this with him. You had reasons to believe he returned your feelings, but you had just as many reasons to believe he didn’t. You would constantly tell yourself, “Today’s the day! I’m going to tell him!”, and then your fear would get the best of you. You convinced yourself that you were just waiting for him to make the first move

Deep down, you knew that wasn’t true.

You were simply too shy.


There she was, the epitome of beauty itself. Not just outer beauty either, she had a great personality and a heart of pure gold, locked safely away in her chest where it would pose no threat to the jewelry industry.


How you wished you possessed that most precious metal.


How you longed to tell her your true feelings.


To tell her Venus and Aphrodite both spat her name in jealousy, cursing the day a being so much more perfect than they was born.


That you thought of her more often than there grains of sand on the beach, or stars in the sky, or strands of hair on her beautiful head...


God, were these really Your thoughts? When did you become such a sap? You tried to shake these thoughts out of your head, knowing they would only come out a jumbled mess if you tried to say them to her.

Those words would come later, you decided. When you had her hooked. In  your mind you pictured it happening like a movie; you’d confess your feelings, and even  if she didn’t return them at first, in the end she would realize she loved you too, and you’d be together…

All you had to do was take that step.

Back to reality, where you had finally cleared your head of everything except those three words. Your nerves troubled you greatly, but you were so sure that you could control them… they weren’t going to get you down, no, not today!

And then she turned around and smiled at you.

Your nerve left you, and you bumbled some lame story, to which she laughed. You normally loved to hear her laugh, but this time, it was like holding a hedgehog; painful at first, then numbing. You both went your separate ways, as you had other things to do, and you sighed, mentally kicking yourself.

Once again, you backed out.

You were simply too shy.