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Submitted on
January 1, 2013
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298 (who?)

I'm not schizophrenic, okay?

Don't listen to my mom. Or my Dad. Or my Grandma. You know what? Don't listen to anyone. Well, except me.

My thought process is perfectly logical, and for the life of me I can't figure why they don't understand that.

But I digress. I should tell you exactly what I'm talking about.

I recently got into this show called Hetalia. It's a show where all the countries of the world are personified, and you learn about events in history through their interactions with each other. Basically, it's history made fun! 

Or making fun of history. Your choice.

Anyway, since I got into this show and all, my mom got me a shirt with a bunch of Hetalia characters on it. And I love it; I really do. I'm wearing it right now, in fact.

But as much as I love it, it bothers me too. Because I feel like... Like they're watching me.

Judging me.

Mocking me.

...Don't look at me like that! I know you've had those thoughts too at one point. Maybe not about a shirt, but a TV, a painting, anything. You know, like what happens in the cartoons.

The only difference between you and me is that you probably grew out of it. So don't judge!

... You know what? Fine! I thought you'd be different, but you're just like my folks. Screw you. I'm going to take a shower.

Meanwhile, in another dimension...

"Ve~" chirped Italy. "You guys! It's happening again! She's taking a shower!"

Germany growled in disapproval "You really need to get laid, Italy."

"I will! But in the meantime, this is nice too!"

"I-itary, you should not peep on a woman whirl she showers!" Japan pleaded, embarrassed for the girl.

"Yeah, whatever, Mr.I-Sell-Schoolgirls-Used-Panties-In-Vending-Machines." America teased, going to his own spot to peep.

"THEY DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE!" Japan retorted.

"Honestly, how old are we?" England chided. "Peeking on a lady in the shower... How juvenile."

"You know you want to as well, Angelterre~!" purred France, going to check it out.


"Then move over and let the rest of us, da?" Russia asked oh-so-politely, walking over.

"Hmph. Her body type is not good for producing sons." Yao assessed, moving away from his spot.

"Maybe not, but I'd still hit it!" said Romano proudly.

"Big bruther, vat are you looking at?" Lichtenstein asked curiously.

"N-nothing!" stammered Switzerland, backing away. "C-come on; I'll go draw you some cute pictures."

"Hey, what's everyone looking a- AHHHH!" said Canada. He then proceeded to walk away.

"BOOBIES!" chimed Sealand.

"I know, right?" Agreed Latvia.

"Hm... She might make a nice sculpture, I guess..." muttered Greece.

"You are all perverts! Why can't you be more like Mr.Austria?!" yelled Hungary.

Austria of course, was too busy playing the piano to care about any of this.

"Belarus, please, calm down..." said Urkraine, trying to hold her sister back.

"How dare big brother look at another woman?! I'll kill them both!" vowed Belarus.

"Hehe. Me gusta."Spain said, blood flowing from his nose.

"Yeah, she's cute, but I'm like, totally hotter." bragged Poland.

"Yeah, whatever." said Estonia.

Lithuania wasn't sure what to say.

"I already have a wife, so no thanks." said Sweden, with Finland in his tight grasp.

"But I wanna see..." whined Finland.

Back to the real world! ... To us anyway. It's all about perception.  

I got dressed in my pajamas and went to bed, sad I scared that person off. But I should've known.

This must be how England feels... I thought sadly.

I closed my eyes to try and sleep, but I couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched...
I'm entering this for ElleNyan's Funniest hetalia reader insert contest! wish me luck!

This has to be the crackiest thing I've ever written. Like ever.

I have a shirt with these characters on it; that's where I got the inspiration from. I mostly listed them in order, but I switched a few around and I added Sweden.

Some characters may be OOC, but I did that for humorus affect. I don't think I'll offend anyone with this, but if I did, sorry.

Otherwise, enjoy!

And don't lie... You've felt this way at some point in your life.

You all know Geico owns Kash, right? right.

EDIT: Thanks to all your good ideas, I've decided I'll make a series of this! :iconbravoplz: Thanks for your creative feedback!

'nother Edit: Looks like I'm on my way to the front page again folks. No biggie ;-)
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LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  New member Student General Artist
"Hmph. Her body type is not good for producing sons." Yao assessed.......................................................................................................................


Male!Portugal: you all die da?grinfaceplz Watching You 

allhetalia boys:Screaming FRED Figglehorn gif 2 Screaming FRED Figglehorn  gif Grito-2 Scream! emoticon 
kushamisaru Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
...Male Portugal?

Isn't Portugal already officially a man?
ShadowWolfAshe Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student Artist
But that's just me ouo (But Spain's reaction tho xD)
kushamisaru Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I forgot what his reaction was so I reread it and laughed
ShadowWolfAshe Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student Artist
Yup xD I couldn't help BUT laugh xD
puccarocks99 Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
I feel this way a lot XD
Everyone else is just too normal...
kushamisaru Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know how old you are but I blame the shows/movies I grew up with. Too many living objects.
AlisSparrow Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014  Student Writer
This is hilarious! Not what I was expecting!
kushamisaru Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! Glad you liked it ^-^
AlisSparrow Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Student Writer
You're welcome!
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