literature

Sleep Paralysis

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Literature Text

The demon visited me once again today.

Yes, today. Not tonight or the night before or after; times you’d think a demon would be out. This demon knows no such boundaries, it would seem, and so it usually visits me in the morning.

I lay in bed, having woken up much earlier than I wanted or needed to, with my eyes shut in hopes of remedying the situation. My body relaxed several times, and I felt sleep just within my grasp…

But several times my body found some fault with the split second-imagery of my dreams and jolted me awake, leaving me frustrated, but not deterred.

I would prefer it to what happens next.

The final time I shut my eyes, slumber about consume me, there is no imagery. At the time, I wasn’t aware how close I was, the way you sometimes are, and the way I was previously. And as I am a bit of a twitcher or shifter or whatever you’d like to call it, I move around a lot.

The demon, I think, knows this. And it uses it. It makes it part of its game.

This time, when I try to move, I can’t.

Even as someone who is perfectly mobile and unaccustomed to a body that rejects simple commands, this shouldn't be as terrifying as it is. But the second I become aware that I can’t adjust my head a little for comfort or lift my leg the way I want, I feel sheer terror. I feel the words I can’t say; Oh dear god, not again.

I think that’s probably part of its sick little game as well.

My brain goes into overload, begging everything below it, pleading even, for some compliance. What was a simple request just for comfort, for some specific parts, becomes a frantic  shout to the whole body. Please, my brain cries out, PLEASE. Move. I don’t care which one of you it is, just something move.

I know that, if I could just get one thing to move, move a thumb or toe even the slightest twitch, the demon would leave and I’d be free.  But the demon is having none of my nonsense, and I can feel its weight pressing down on me.

My heart now is also working in overdrive, and my brain –still functional- seems to have taken a backseat to it. I want to cry, in both senses; the crying that uses tears, and crying out for help. Somebody please wake me up! Move me, do anything!

My brain comes into the foreground once again to remind me that I’m home alone at the moment, and both versions of cry I want to convey are swallowed up in the demons smile.

It moves its hands around my neck, only applying light pressure for some reason –maybe another part of the game- and I become more desperate than ever. These events, apnea and these demon visits, have both happened before, but never together. Without the option of flight, I have to resort to fight for self-preservation, otherwise I’ll die. I just know it. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life…

I force my body to shudder.


And the demon leaves.

The world begins to turn again. I no longer feel my life is threatened, in fact I feel silly for thinking so. My mother returns with McDonalds© I didn’t even ask for because she’s a sweetheart like that, and everything goes back to normal. I’ve won this battle, same as always.

But that is just a battle.

Every battle makes me a little more anxious, a little more insomnious, a little less willing to fight.

And as I feel my poor little heart still trying to recover, a horrible thought occurs to me;

Every battle I’ve won…
Brings it one step closer to winning the war.
I'm trembling as I write this. It's still so very fresh in my mind... it's terrifying.

Those of you who have been through sleep paralysis know that it's no joke. It's just ... I can't even think how to describe it. This piece is probably the best I can do.

For years people thought that sleep paralysis was caused by a demon or some other evil deity laying on your stomach/back and petrifying you with its presence. And boy, when it strikes, that sounds like the most logical thing you've ever heard in your life.

It also makes for a (hopefully) good metaphor used throughout this piece. I tried to be deep in this piece, which I'm always iffy about because I worry I try too hard. I'm really hoping it works here.

Feel free to comment/fave/critique
© 2013 - 2024 kushamisaru
Comments42
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KennieKongLee's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

Vision, 4 <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="450" title="Star!"/>
-If i try to skim through it, it looks really good. I like how you put a lot of effort into this, I can tell that you did your best to direct your trembles into this piece.
Then, I scanned it. It does look really good, it's a different kind from your usuals, so in contrastingly awesome. It actually made me smile.

Originality, 4 <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="450" title="Star!"/>
-I can't say that not many pieces have been written describing fears and such, but personally, i don't see much of sleep paralysis ones. The usuals ones are maybe nightmares, common phobias, clowns, killers etc. So good job, love!

Technique, 3.5 <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="450" title="Star!"/>
-Don't get me wrong, I love it! But I'm not entirely goose-bumping. Love the metaphors and descriptions, but they can be more morbid. And the advice 'show, don't tell' would work wonders to this piece! And I think it could use more adjectives.

ex: The demon slowly went for my neck, caressing it gently, softly, while plastering its demonic smile at me. I seem to be his play-toy as it teases me which made me even more desperate than ever, I think he knows this, and I think he finds joy in my terrified expression like the freak he is.

because showing can be more descriptive.
Tip: HOW?

-Another thing is I think you can try to find words to emphasize on with Italic.

ex:
The demon visited me today.
Again.

...otherwise... I’ll die. I just know it. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life…

-In the last fifth paragraph, after the demon left, you could've put more emphasis on how happy you were.

ex: The world begins to turn again. I sat up and just stay there, overwhelmed by the blissful relief because no longer is my life threatened. I wanted to jump, I wanted to scream, I wanted to hug the next person because I made it. It's rather silly to think so, but EUREKA!

Impact, 3 <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="450" title="Star!"/>
-I've read more morbid things, just saying.
But I certainly do hope you try again because i enjoyed it!

Hope you found this helpful!

p.s. nice new icon :3 and i missed you.