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I learned a valuable lesson today.

I was hanging out with my good friend, Ivan. A lot of people say very nasty things about him; like he's psycho, he'll kill you, stay away from him if you want to live. Stuff like that. And for the life of me I couldn't understand why. 

But you see how I used the past tense? That's not a grammatical mistake. I'm in honors English; I know better than that. Which means I learned exactly what they were talking about.

You see, I made the mistake of giving Ivan a thumbs up. I can't remember why, and honestly, who cares, right? It's an innocent gesture which to me, signifies approval.

But not to Ivan.

Suddenly, -And this really happened, I shit you not. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I'm dead serious- he wads surrounded by a dark purple aura. His man-child smile so became malicious Shion Sonozaki would wet herself... again. And he approached me ever so slowly.

All those not so bad -endearing, even- qualities I noted about him  became disadvantageous to my health. I wouldn't be able to fight this giant; even with my short person scrappiness. I couldn't run, my legs were weak. With both flight and fight crossed out as options, I flinched and accepted my fate.

I felt his huge hand on my head... Goodbye world...

He ruffled my hair, affectionately almost. Is he toying with me? I wonder.

My eyes are still closed, but I can sense a blockage of light through my shut lids.

"Look at me." He says. I obey. His smile is gone now, and he looks pissed . Maybe his plan is to give me a heart attack...?

But then his smile returns, and the aura disappears. He's back to the Ivan I'll never be able to see him as again.

"That is rude. Don't do it again, da?" He asks sweetly. I'm surprised I had the mental capacity to nod; I was sure I'd literally been scared out of my mind.

His smile grew. "Good!" he chirped, and went about his merry way.

From that day on, I kept my hands to myself.

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Fun fact; the thumbs up gesture is rude in Russia.

I found this out just yesterday because of an incident I had with a Russian guy.

I was in the car and I sneezed. So I wiped my hands in a tissue and threw it out a window (which I don't normally do; I love mother earth, you guys)

Anyway, this russian guy pulled up next to us and he gave me the thumbs up. Like an ignorant American, I gave it right back to him. :iconamericasulkplz:

He then continued to glare at me until my mom went ghetto on him :iconohboyamericaplz:

We were talking about the incident yesterday, and we were like "I wonder if that's rude in Russia..." So I looked it up, and it is.

Just in case that's wrong though, forgive me, Russians. I mean no harm.

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December 31, 2012
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:iconandacondajones:
~andacondajones Feb 26, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Hahaha! Man-child smile, I haven't thought of it that way! ;)
Reply
:iconkushamisaru:
Cannot unsee!
Reply
:iconandacondajones:
Mood: Fear ~andacondajones Feb 26, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I know!
Reply
:iconenbi-to-miruku:
~Enbi-to-Miruku Feb 13, 2013  Student General Artist
That... I will keep that in mind. Forever.

And you, awesome job! You depict Russia perfectly! I love the "Look at me" part, and the sweet "Don't do it again, da?" too. It's him alright, exactly how I believe he should be, not like in numerous other fanfictions where Russia is either totally innocent or totally evil. You made him creepy and cute at the same time, great job!
Reply
:iconkushamisaru:
Good!

Thank you very much! I tried to keep him in character as best as I could!
Reply
:iconstarlightorchard:
It means something bad.....? Ooooh, boy.........:iconscaredplz:
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:iconkushamisaru:
Maybe. I'm not sure anymore.
Reply
:iconstarlightorchard:
Gee, I hope not! :/
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